Appreciation

I just got home from the airport. I am exhausted from a long day of travel, and because we just spent two weeks in a van, trying to cram as much information into our brains as possible. It is hard to believe this trip is over. In this post, I hope to convey the gratitude I feel towards everyone involved in this trip. The actual amount of this gratitude is very sizable indeed, I'm not sure I will succeed in communicating it, but let's give it a try.

The girls I traveled with are so wonderful. Each person brought a different perspective to the group, and the kindness each of them showed me (and each other) was so vital to the tone of the trip. I am so appreciative to each of these amazing women for the ways they push boundaries to reach goals, and the ways they extend helping hands. This experience would not have been the same without any of you, I am so thankful for you. Thank you for these weeks, your time, your words and your laughter. I can't wait to spend time with you ladies back at school in the fall, and I am so sad that some of you have finished your time at Hendrix- you will be missed so dearly.

Dr. Goldberg, we have all said thank you but I feel the need to repeat it- thank you, thank you, for so much. The time involved in planning the trip and in teaching us, the connections made, the kindness you have shown and the experiences you have shared have all been so amazing and over the top. This trip was so much more than I expected, and I know that your efforts are what made it extraordinary. This trip, at this time, was so informative and it challenged me on a regular basis. I learned so much.

I think that on some trips, the experiences you have revolve around the people you are traveling with. That was definitely a huge factor in this trip, but it was different because our experiences were so heavily impacted by people we met along the way.  Every guide provided us with a different perspective, and a different form of passion. To all of you that shared your knowledge, thank you so, so much. Your passion, in your careers and out of them, has been so influential not only to the trip itself, but to me as a person. As an undergrad, I have been so inspired by you and the lives you lead. You have provided examples not only of people doing amazing work in the world, but of people who are enjoying doing that work. You have shown me some of the paths available and that there are many more, and that with determination, finding and following your path is so possible. I don't know how to explain how much that means to me, you have given me so much. Thank you.

I took photographs throughout this adventure. They are on little rolls of film that I had to ask friendly TSA agents to hand check at airport security. I will keep them safe until August, and then I'll have the chance to go through the trip again in the process of developing and printing. I'll get to think about this experience in a different way. There were times on this trip when I resented the camera I schlepped around, because I was more interested in living the story than telling it. However, I think that in the fall I will be glad for its presence and the moments captured.

Thank you, friends, for reading and traveling with us. It's been so fun.

At the End

We are finally at our hotel in Phoenix, the last stop on our trip. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we will say sad goodbyes and all return back to our hometowns. We already had to say goodbye to Caiti, who also just graduated, and so that was extremely sad for all of us. These two weeks have been full of so many experiences and places, and when I mentioned that I had been keeping track of what we had done each and every day, everyone agreed that I should turn it into a blog post. So here it goes. This is going to be a long one, just a warning.

Day 1, Monday, May 19
-Arrival to Phoenix
-dinner at Mexican restaurant (the first of many, many Mexican meals)
-walk around downtown Tempe for ice cream and laughs

Day 2, Tuesday, May 20
-Pueblo Grande archaeological site, tour with Donut
-meet with ASU graduate anthropology students
-lunch (beautiful outside patio, delicious food, dessert tour)
-Heard Museum (about Native Americans in the Southwest)
-Dinner (Mexican) with Dr. Goldberg's friends Liz and Steve
-swimming after dinner

Day 3, Wednesday, May 21
-Desert Botanical Gardens with Steve
-Ranch Market for lunch with Liz (more Mexican food)
-drive to Tucson!
-visit to Archaeology Southwest and meeting with Bill (friend of Dr. G's)
-Los Charros restaurant for dinner with Bill (more Mexican)

Day 4, Thursday, May 22
-stop at Beyond Bread bakery for coffee drinks and to pick up treats
-Gail's house to chat and swim (Steve's sister who works along the border and in many Latin American countries)
-Guero Canelo for lunch (Sonoran style hot dogs- so amazing)
-South Tucson to see some murals
-Desert Seed shop
-walk around 4th Avenue for shopping
-La Cocina restaurant for dinner (for healthy food like salads, requested by all of us)
-cards and relaxing after dinner

Day 5, Friday, May 23
-drive to Camp Naco near Bisbee, Arizona
-stopped along the way to see the huge Lavender Pit Mine
-toured Camp Naco with Bill (from Archaeology SW) and Becky Orozco, both working to save it
-lunch at golf club with Bill and Becky
-seeing the border fence for the first time with Bill and Becky while Samantha and Dr. G headed to the hospital :(
-downtown Bisbee for shopping (this consisted of more coffee, making friends, telling people we were all sisters, finding wifi)
-hospital to go pick up Samantha
-late dinner at Sasquatch (?)
-drive back to Tucson

Day 6, Saturday, May 24
-San Xavier del Bac Mission
-lunch in Tubac (Shelby's Bistro)
-Tumacacori site
-drove to Nogales- parked in Nogales, AZ and walked across the border to Nogales, Sonora, Mexico
-walked around and shopped
-walk back through fence (almost no line- a surprise)
-Mexican food for dinner with Mariachis to wish Samantha farewell

Day 7, Sunday, May 25
-Desert Museum (almost like a zoo/ botanical garden/aquarium)
-lunch at museum
-laundromat (we seriously needed to do laundry)
-raspados! (a Sonoran snow- cone)
-drive to Yuma, Arizona, dinner there
-finish the drive to Calexico, California

Day 8, Monday, May 26
-taxis to border
-crossed by foot again to Mexicali, Baja California, Mexico
-Everardo (friend of Dr. G's who runs museum) picked us up
-museum on contemporary art and anthropology of the area
-lunch
-presentations from Mexican graduate students on social/cultural issues
-dinner (Chinese food, a big thing in Mexicali) with grad students and other professors
-tour around Mexicali with Everardo
-crossed back, taxis back to hotel

Day 9, Tuesday, May 27
-drive to San Diego
-meet Robert Alvarez (head of the Society for Applied Anthropology and Dr. G's mentor)
-visit Lemon Grove (where Dr. Alvarez grew up)
-lunch (amazing hole-in-the-wall Mexican food place where the tortillas are prepared in the back- so good)
-Chicano Park
-cross bridge to Coronado Island for coffee and visit to the beach
-drove around San Diego more
-dinner at Rosie's

Day 10, Wednesday, May 28
-drove allllllll day
-stop in Yuma for lunch
-dinner in Tucson (Mexican place famous for chimichangas)

Day 11, Thursday, May 29
-drive towards Douglas- stopped in Benson for lunch
-drove around Douglas to see the town (where Dr. G did research)
-dinner at historic Gadsden Hotel where we stayed

Day 12, Friday, May 30
-drive to Rodeo to visit another Desert Museum (to see snakes and plants)
-lunch in Portal
-hike and heard from historian and former sheriff
-back to Douglas for dinner at Mexican restaurant

Day 13, Saturday, May 31
-relaxing morning at the hotel- lots of reading and blogging!
-lunch at small cafe across the street
-Memorial service for Wendy Glenn (prominent figure in the Douglas and rancher community near Douglas)
-relax and shop in Douglas
-dinner at hotel with Bill and Mary (ranchers from the Douglas area and part of the Malpai Borderlands Group of ranchers)

Day 14, Sunday, June 1
-drive to Tucson after breakfast- lunch and raspados again!
-drive to Phoenix, relax and swim
-dinner at New Mexican restaurant
-final reflection!

We just finished reflecting about the trip as a whole. Even though we are down to 6 girls, we still had a good conversation about how we felt about the trip and how it impacted us. There are two main things that I gained from the trip:

1. The impression that the general public, not only in the United States, but also in other places, has about the border is so negative and skewed. Being in this place, we have experienced so much amazing culture, passionate people, and beautiful landscapes that are only a few things that make up the border here. It is upsetting to me that the vast majority of the people that I told I was going on this trip simply encouraged me to be safe rather than wishing for me to have a good time and to learn a lot. We, a group of 9 women, not once felt unsafe or insecure. I can't wait to go back and try to explain just a piece of what I've experienced here, and hope that I can change some people's perspectives of the United States/ Mexico border.

2. The passion that was shared by every single person that we came into contact with was so inspiring. I have always been taught to follow my passion and to do what I love rather than what will make me money, and this idea was shown in all the people we talked to. They were so inspiring to me as an anthropologist, to see how many facets to anthropology there are and how so many paths are available to people in the world. Many of the people we met with weren't anthropologists by name, but they used it in some way, and we were able to recognize this. These contacts are only making me think more deeply about what I want to do and has exposed me to so many ideas that I look forward to researching more in order to find out what I really care about.

This trip was so amazing and I can't express how grateful I am for the experiences that we've shared, the people we've met, and the people I was fortunate enough to spend these two weeks with. A HUGE thanks to Dr. Goldberg who organized the trip, and this wouldn't have been nearly the same experience without her! I can't wait to see what all these ladies bring to the world and they have all taught me more than they could ever know!

Birth and Death at the Border

We have returned to the part of the borderlands closest to my heart - Douglas, Arizona and Agua Prieta, Sonora. In contrast to the rest of the trip, everything is up in the air with our schedule. I didn't mean for this to be the case, but life got in the way. Take today, for example. This morning, we had planned to cross to Agua Prieta to visit with some friends and deliver some photographs taken on my last visit. My closest friend's daughter is nine months pregnant, though, and had strong contractions through the night, leaving her exhausted in the morning. I visited with them last night and was greeted by an extremely pregnant Annais baking 60 cupcakes for the next day. An apron stretched across her belly, her feet were bare, and she had just finished ironing her brother's shirt in preparation for a Friday night in Agua Prieta. She was the picture of domesticity, tiny and huge at the same time, and ready to make me comfortable. She refused to sit down, eager to speed along her contractions and have her baby. She demanded stories of my travels since my last visit, but sometimes her face would tighten, eyes narrowing slightly, signs of pain. "Keep talking," she would insist each time I paused in concern.

On my last visit here, Annais and her mother, Monica, guided me through Agua Prieta for days and nights, introducing me to women with fascinating stories of life at the border. They were critical to my work, and terrific friends besides. Going back to visit these same women without them really wasn't an option. Another woman who helped me tremendously on that trip was Wendy Glenn. Wendy's family was one of the first to settle in/near Douglas, and she helped me find rural women to interview and photograph. She was ever-generous with her time, and filled with knowledge of the area and people in it. As I was preparing for this trip, I received an email from her daughter, Kelly, informing me of Wendy's death, which came only two weeks after her diagnosis with pancreatic cancer. Her memorial service was today.

The memorial service was filled to overflowing at the Cochise County Fairgrounds. We arrived half an hour early and barely found seats. Even pulling in to park, I immediately saw familiar faces, some of whom recognized me and a few who did not. Local and national dignitaries spoke eloquently at the service, but none touched me more than Kelly and her daughter, Mackenzie. The crowd was mainly ranching families from near and far, but politicians, environmentalists, Border Patrol agents, and schoolteachers could be seen among the mourners as well.

I had intended to introduce my students to Wendy and some of the other members of the Malpai Borderlands Group (see them at www.malpaiborderlandsgroup.org to find out more). I hesitated to ask anyone to speak about anything while they are mourning the loss of a dear friend and family member. Two of my most beloved ties to Douglas and Agua Prieta are in the midst of life's biggest transformations. My plans are derailed, my heart is heavy, I am eager to meet a new child.

The passing of a friend, the birth of a child - they are momentous occurrences and the most human of struggles. I have certainly experienced both before, but never at the same time, and never in this place.  I am dropping in on friends as they struggle. Asi es la vida, asi es la lucha, on the border and everywhere else.

Mexico's a big country, y'all.

Before I actually got on the plane to Phoenix, coming to the border had a flavor of going home. I had studied abroad in central Mexico (Puebla) in the fall semester, and I hoped to get a taste of the country I'd been missing for the past five months. But hey, that's like studying abroad in Arkansas and hoping to get a flash of that experience in Philadelphia. I mean some of it will be the same, but most of it will be a cheese-steaky new experience. 

I first began to realize that I was not in Mexican Kansas anymore with the food. I knew it would be different--to say that Mexico has regional differences would be a gross understatement--but who knew Mexican food could be capped in so much yellow cheese? There was relatively so little dairy in my daily meals Puebla that I came back to the States having just about lost my tolerance to our levels of lactose in general. And the delicious flour tortillas that we've been inhaling this entire trip to the border? Order any taco in Puebla with cheese OR flour tortillas and you've ordered yourself a "gringo taco," right off the menu.

Restaurants here at the border definitely know the double/mixed origins of their clientele, and no matter the fare there's always some sort of house enchilada or at the very least chips and salsa for starters. One cafe we visited in Portal, Arizona had a whole separate menu just for Mexican-style dishes. I kept wondering why we would eat Mexican food every single day until I realized that for people around here, Mexican food is just called "food." It just felt too close to my own culture to realize it.

But what I most see here on the border that I didn't expect is how important it is to be from the border. It's not just important to be Mexican or American, it's so much more defining to be Mexican/American at the border. These people define themselves by the cultures of the borderlands in a way that I do not define myself by the cultures of "the center." The languages and their mixings are unique to this place (not only between English and Spanish, but also between both these languages and those of the original tribes). Your personal use of language (or pointed disuse of language) signals your history in the region and even more specifically your childhood there as well. The use of native symbols and culture has also been impressive to me, being from a state (Arkansas) that has little to no ties to its earlier cultures.

The emphasis on origin, history, and the mixing of border-specific cultures is so strong that our visit to Chicano Park (previously described by a couple of our other lovely bloggers) took me aback. The descriptive "chicano" is a specific reference to Mexican culture at or across the border and has been a re-appropriated adjective of pride for the Chicano civil rights movement (closely tied to the United Farm Workers movement). So there we were, in a park specifically named to be saturated in border culture, and it was full of metaphors and symbols plucked straight out of central Mexico. Mural after mural depicted Aztec/Nahuatl gods and goddesses (like Coatlicue, the Aztec earth and mother goddess pictured below), symbols that Mexico, as a very center-centric country, has adopted as its own.

And yet, these were symbols of Mexico pride, not really border pride. There were few to no depictions of local native symbols, nothing that I could find besides the logo for the United Farm Workers Association that was even very border specific. All the gods and goddesses, symbols, and folk tales represented in each beautiful mural were straight out of my culture class 2,000 miles south. This park seemed to concentrate on what it meant to be Mexican almost more than what it meant to be Mexican in the United States, the latter of which is totally what I thought "Chicano" meant. I didn't think to ask our two local guides to the park while they were actually with us, but I'm really wishing I had. It just goes to show how complicated identity can be, especially combating both assimilation and marginalization at once.

One thing that sounded familiar here at the border was how Mexico and the United States marginalize the border in general. It is not a U.S.-specific reality that the federal government (and pretty much the rest of the country) hyper-stigmatizes and misinterprets the U.S./Mexico border. I got just as many tales of caution from my Mexican family and friends as I did from my American ones, few of them having ever really been to the border at all. Funny how prejudice flows both ways.

Well, this post started out a fun little intracultural comparison, but it seems to have turned into a narrative about complexity. Sort of like this trip. Let's deem this post an elaborate extended metaphor instead of plot-less rambling and call it a wrap.

Border Ladies, over and out.

Connections

In Mexicali, Mexico, we heard presentations by three graduate students. As I heard one master’s student give a presentation on homosexuality in Mexicali, I recognized many theories and themes that I had learned about in my Gender & Sexuality class last semester – queer theory, feminist theory, the idea that the “personal is political,” etc. More importantly, I experienced another dimension of connections at the border. Social science research in Mexico and in the U.S. is connected by similar overarching theories and ideas. While I expected to draw connections between what we had discussed in our Borderlands class and what we saw on our trip, I am surprised again and again by the different ways in which the borderlands connect to other aspects of my life, my education, and my identity.

This trip is all about establishing and recognizing connections. There is so much more depth in reading and discussing topics about the borderlands in class and then seeing these places in person, talking to people with different perspectives on border issues, and reflecting on those experiences with a group of six passionate, interesting women and one of my most inspiring, empathetic professors.  

I can read and write about land and water rights, indigenous groups, gender issues, the border patrol, immigration...but seeing everything allows me to combine my knowledge and interest in the borderlands region with personal experiences at the border. After driving through Yuma, AZ, I can visualize the Yuma 14 of Devil’s Highway desperately walking through the desert, hot sun beating down as sloping, dry hills and cacti stretch on forever. Counting the number of border patrol cars zoom down the highway as we listen to Spanish pop music brings the border to life. This is why we are here, at the U.S./Mexico border – to see and experience what we’ve only talked about in the classroom.

As a recent college graduate (as of two weeks ago, woop woop!) I am incredibly thankful to be a part of this experience, a member of Dr. Goldberg’s Border Babes. The Odyssey program, which emphasizes experiential learning or “learning by doing,” has been one of the best parts of my time at Hendrix. My past Odyssey projects – ranging from study abroad, self-designed projects, and coursework – have really shaped my academic and career path, giving me more focus while allowing me to succeed – and fail – growing more, perhaps, in the moments of ‘failure’ that led me to reevaluate what is most important to me.

After volunteering teaching health education in Nepal, learning about food security in Nicaragua, taking several courses that were cross-listed as Undergraduate Research, studying abroad in India, and interning at Heifer International, I had the opportunity to go to the U.S./Mexico borderlands with my professor and classmates. The more Odyssey experiences I had, the more focused my interests (in food security, women’s empowerment, foreign aid, international health, etc) became, while my worldview became broader and more open.

After I graduated from Hendrix, I knew that I wanted to build on the experiences I had through the Odyssey program, especially as they related to international health, anthropology, and food security. In September, I will be serving in the Peace Corps in Nepal as a Food Security volunteer. My Odyssey experiences have shaped who I am in many ways, and these experiences challenged me to apply for the Peace Corps last October. I am looking forward to the challenges that come ahead, and I hope to expand on the knowledge I’ve gained through experiential learning from various Odyssey projects, classes, and trips (like this one).

On this trip, I have seen light bulbs go off in people’s minds as we traverse the borderlands. It’s awesome to watch, especially as a recent graduate! It’s inspiring, too – I have learned and grown from my own Odyssey projects, but I am still learning so much from those around me. I see the other students learning, too, and it makes me wonder how this experience will shape their own interests and future research. It’s been really wonderful traveling with these smart, driven, and passionate women. Every day, we reflect on everything we experience throughout the day, coming together to share our perspectives with one another. I look forward to seeing what these driven, interesting women do next, as well as how this experience has shaped them.

The International Virgin

After waiting anxiously for 22 years, I finally lost my international virginity to Mexico. I know, she is MUCH older than I am, but rest assured that this was no hasty decision. I spent almost all of my undergraduate getting to know her. I read about her people, learned to speak her language, and listened to stories of her triumphs and struggles. If she had had a Facebook, I totally would have creeped alllll of her pictures. I cherished our long-distance relationship, but I was eager to take things to the next level.

On May 26, 2014, Mexico and I finally had the chance to meet face to face. I felt strange crossing the border into Mexicali. It was really difficult to tell when I had left the United States and entered Mexico. No one asks to see your identification, everyone looks the same, and the stores are basically the same, only everything is taking place in this weird underground tunnel space. I felt strangely uncomfortable walking through the unclaimed space between Mexico and the EE.UU, which was probably brought on by the abrasive sound of metal clanking on metal as people walked through the turnstiles. I can’t fully understand their purpose, but they seemed to be yelling, “CHECK OUT WHO JUST WALKED INTO MEXICO! NO SERIOUSLY, DOES THIS WHITE GIRL LOOK UNCOMFORTABLE OR WHAT?!” Anyway, it was hard to shake the feeling that someone (or everyone) was aware of my presence.

I (and the other Border Babes) made it into the city, which was everything I had hoped, hopped in a van, and headed towards the Instituto de Investigaciones Culturales. Our guide, Dr. Everardo Garduño, was gracious enough to open his museum for a private tour.  The museum was WON-DER-FUL. It was organized like no museum I had seen before. In sequential order, we viewed exhibits on the paleontology, archaeology, and contemporary peoples of the area. Most notable to me was the museums lack of artifacts in their exhibits. It wasn’t that they didn’t have the artifacts (they had a building full of awesome things, like dinosaur femurs, behind the museum), it was just that they weren’t necessary in the exhibits.

They used models and replicas to bring the information to life. The life sized models of contemporary people were so realistic that I found myself politely apologizing to a woman fishing the Colorado River after almost bumping into her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t respond because she was made of wax or plastic or something. Wow, so engaged with history…. I was thoroughly impressed by this museum. They recreated people and places in ways that I will not soon forget. When I open my own museum or school or someplace full of cool things, you can bet that there will be eerily convincing people statues.

Following our museum adventure, we met with graduate students of the university who presented their research to us. Like the museum, THIS. WAS. AWESOME. There was a translator present to help everyone navigate the language barrier. Only one of the three students fully utilized the translator’s super power. Which means that two students kindly presented their research in English for our sake. While watching these students bravely navigate a presentation in front of strangers in a foreign language, I realized what a pansy I am for not practicing speaking Spanish. SOOO that will be adjusted for the rest of the trip.

The coolest thing about leaving the country was the change in perspective. I don’t often think about the academics of the country. I think more often than not, when we think of Mexico we think of all of the people who need help. We don’t think of the people who are providing the help and making change within their own country. It was an experience that I will never forget, hearing about how the United States has impacted Mexico, from the perspective of Mexican academics. There was a moment, when a presenter was describing how much of a bully America can be, that reminded me of being a sibling. I know the United States is a huge jerk and I can pick on her all day, because she is mine. The second you say something about her, however, I might totally headbutt you in the face. Not that I would. But just in case, wear a visor or something.

 It was a frustrating, hurtful, revealing, and completely necessary experience. I am thankful for these experiences. The information and perspectives that we are exposed to throughout our education evolve to tell a more complete story. My studies at Hendrix provided the foundation for this trip, but reading and listening alone are not enough. You have to take the relationship to the next level. I am so grateful for this trip and our time spent traveling back and forth across the U.S.- Mexico frontera.

I Loved the Class, but . . .

If you are a professor or a teacher, you are probably cringing along with me right now. This phrase, with that enormous BUT at the end, makes me brace myself for what is coming. As much as I care about pedagogy and learning, sometimes I really don't want to hear what could have been better.

Last night, during our group reflection, I heard this comment and it was echoed by everyone in the room. And these women were some of the most dedicated members of my class last semester - consistently prepared, thoughtful responses to the reading, original ideas presented. "I loved the class, but I am finally understanding everything we learned. I can put the pieces together better now; I can tell someone about what border culture means." Another woman added, "I can't imagine how I learned anything any other way."

An experiential learning trip could be written off as a fun diversion. A trip where students are required to pay a very small portion of their costs might be a lark, easily forgotten, unconnected to "real," scholarly learning. Yet this trip is cementing the learning that took place all semester in profound ways. All of the participants on the trip reference knowledge gained in classes (and not just my classes) in each discussion. They talk about how topics have been made real by seeing the people and places we have read about. Caiti said, "How did I ever think I could learn about different cultures without actually going and meeting the people?"

That sentiment, of course, is a major motivator for anthropologists. Indeed, it was the impetus for anthropology as a discipline. We define ourselves through field work, not simply accounts from others nor controlled experiments. We go to where people live and we live and work in those same places. We learn culture by doing culture. Participant observation is the cornerstone of cultural anthropology's methods. I think my students would argue that they learn from classes (and their use of information from those classes backs that claim up), but these experiences resonate with them in a different way.

Yesterday, as we walked around Chicano Park in San Diego, we were joined by Salvador "Queso" Torres, who is sometimes called "the architect of the dream" of the murals that adorn the massive pylons of the freeway over the park. After chatting with Robert Alvarez and I for a few minutes, he declared,"I'm going to give you a tour. Come with me." His coveralls spattered with paint from his current mural project, brushes poking out of his pocket, he led our group from one panel to the next. He explained the history of the movement, the symbolism of the murals, stories of the artists, and the heroes of the Chicano movement. He showed us where his childhood home had stood, where he dreamed of becoming an artist as a boy, how the murals might inspire children to dream of what they could become, to believe that they could achieve those dreams. The meeting was entirely unplanned, made possible by his long association with Robert Alvarez, who also grew up with family in the neighborhood.

Looking at those beautiful murals in a book would teach you so much. Hearing about them from someone who had visited would add another dimension. Visiting the park alone, gazing on them in all their color and height could overwhelm you. But talking with the artist who conceived of them, painted them, restored and guarded them - that is a lesson you won't soon forget.

We spend time each night together reflecting on the day. We learn so much from each other too, as every individual picks out unique details and responds to different events. Those conversations make me agree: I loved the class, but . . .